Getting Away with Murder - Casey Anthony

Yesterday a jury here in Orlando found Casey Anthony not guilty of killing her daughter Caylee. Not guilty of even abusing her daughter. Just guilty of lying to the police. Whaaaat?!!!!! Yeah, that's what everyone said. To me that's pretty much an invite to all you wackos out there (hopefully no wackos are reading this post because if you're wacko and I'm "friends" with you online does that make me wacko?) to come to Florida, pretty much do whatever you want, but don't lie to the police.

Back to the Casey Anthony verdict, I think Nancy Grace said it best: "Somewhere out there tonight, the devil is dancing." As a mom, I'm outraged. As a human being, I'm outraged. On both counts, I'm sad. We all know who killed Caylee. Now this person will make money off books, movies, home videos, pictures of Caylee. You don't believe me? O.J. was doing just fine (except for the book) until he stormed that hotel room with a gun.

Today I Am 40

I myself can't believe it. I'm 40 years old today. When did this happen, and more importantly, why do my insides still feel 14? It's hard to celebrate 40. I feel like I should have achieved more by 40. My daughter, my great love, the reason I get up at all, needs to see me succeeding. If she doesn't, how will she know how to succeed?

I have less at 40 than I did at 35. I had a house, my mother, and a good career. I had all this at 35. Then I got separated, sold the house, and moved in with my mother to figure out what I was going to go with my life. Then a nasty thing called the Recession rolled in and since then I've been working at jobs that pay less than I made in college. I can't pay my student loans so the interest keeps accumulating.

I did my part. I did what they tell you to do to achieve the American Dream. I busted my ass since I was little to get into UCBerkeley, I took the necessary shitty (low-level) jobs to advance job-wise, I finished half my Master's until all of the above disasters occurred. I don't know if I'll finish it - my daughter's schooling is the priority and I don't have the money anyways.

I had the American Dream. Recession, please go away. Obama said yesterday that the economy is looking up, new jobs ARE being created. I hope so, and I hope they choose me for one of them. I have no family, just my daughter. My mother's stroke paralyzed her and she will be in a nursing home since 59 (she's now 63) until her spirit moves on. Seeing her in that bed not being able to ever leave and not being able to do anything without the help of people paid to help her, I know that her spirit is probably already dead.

Badges

Huh. Well, I haven't had my own website for about 10 years now and it shows. Customizing an already easy-for-everyone-else website like Blogger should NOT be this hard. I was trying to add a badge for Heroes4Holden, but that wouldn't work. I can add those great copy and paste badges for blogger logos, but why when I'm already on Blogger? Isn't that already advertising and not redundant? If I can figure out how to grab badges that AREN'T just for social media, my blog will look better.

If not, tough shit. The world's unfair. Example: 8-year-olds design amazing websites while I, at almost 40, cannot put a simple little picture (badge) on my site. Whatever.

I Never Sleep

If this post sounds jumbled up and incoherent, it's because I haven't slept more than about 6 hours in 2 weeks. And no, I'm not on drugs if that's what you're thinking. Most of my life I've been able to sleep all day and all night if I wanted to. About 5 years ago some traumatic events happened in my life. I'll talk about them later, but it's been about 5 years since I've had a good night's sleep.